Friday, May 13, 2011

Testimony from an Indian in Lebanon

I received this email today. No words gives it enough introduction.

Hello. After I suffered a racial discrimination; I am Indian (so Not Black). I want to share my story I am a technical Manager from India, working in Dubai came to Beirut at end of 2008 for a 2 day meeting but ended staying for 2 and a half years. I have traveled a lot and have seen many cultures and I was very impressed with Lebanese Culture and their surprise to see an Indian So open minded (I later understood this as so educated and rich for an Indian).

I fell in love with the receptionist of the hotel I stayed in, after she showed obvious signs of how much she was in love with me. Initially I found her very broad minded like me, almost similar to mine but she used to be afraid of her family who she used to say were uneducated and will not understand the relationship. I used helped her in her studies and she was very proud of me; that’s how I was made to feel For me all I cared about was that the Girl knew what she wanted and it should not be an issue.

I however wanted to make sure I win over the family. Which meant that I needed to convert to Christianity as her family will never open topic of marriage if they knew I was not a Christian. For about a year that we went out, I did my catechism, converted, I met and convinced each of her family members, Brothers, Mother, Uncle, Aunt, cousins and finally her father, who initially disapproved of our relationship. By the time I was baptized, the entire familt except the father were in favour of the relation or so I thought. I gave a bit party in Zaher eleymoun for my Baptism, it was projected to be my Easter party to the family as she didn’t want anyone to know I converted. She on her part used to talk to my family in India and my sis in US and was getting to be close t them or so I thought. Her father who could not speak English had me visit his boss to “check me out”; when there was all positive reviews the Father agreed and I officially went and asked for "her hand" and the father accepted.

We went to Burj al Hammam in Bourmana to celebrate with the entire family. In this one year I grew so much in love with her and her family that I never saw anything wrong in what was happening around but the very next day, my fiancé came to me crying saying her parents were against this idea and she could not do anything against them. This was a shock to me; I wanted to go and talk to the parents but she did not allow me to, said it will end in a family feud. I was not afraid of it but I didn’t want to do anything that I might regret later. I asked her what she wants, she said she knew very well what she wants and I let her deal with her family.

But one fine day she calls me up in my office and says she saw a couple (an Armenian Lebanese Lady married to an Indian) and they kids were not white (I want to state here that she is not as fair as a typical Lebanese, for me and my family she looked more Indian) she was speaking too fast and said she is worried that our kids wil be like them and she does not need my convincing and kept the phone. I confronted her that evening and she didn’t have any regret of saying anything (I was in tears); she said she can give some more time but she will not promise anything.

Anyways to cut the story short, she kept on repeating that her father clearly said he will not love our kids if they are not white and she cannot stand this. This might seem to be another sad love story but it left me devastated cos I felt I was part of the family at one point in time, hearing her cousins talk how they are going to design our wedding and then thrown out was a bit of a shock. I tried calling her after that but she grew rude at every call; finally she threatned me that she will lodge a complaint with General Security making sure I will never come back to Lebanon.

This is where all my respect for her died away (So far I had to accept she was not the broad minded person I used to know,and I came to know that she has no ideas on her own but acted n what is fed from her friends and relatives) I wish she had said some other reason for breaking up..dumping me….but why this….she had destroyed my inner confidence; her decision didn’t come so fast as I wrote, there was a lot of mind games tortures that I don’t know why I endured I was left heartbroken and cheated. My trust was given the middle finger. Tried to kill myself but I didn’t have the courage. Now she is going out with some other guy and told me that I have no right to call her anymore.

I am now a man with a new religion that I took up to have a married life with a woman who never intended to marry me.

5 comments:

  1. wow! I am amazed how tolerant you are with the Lebanese culture. It definitely is NOT a tolerant one itself. I am Lebanese and for all I know we are the Biggest Racists ever. Hopefully a new generation is brining forward new ideas and embracing multiculturalism, but it is not about to change overnight. Good Luck with your future plans.

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  2. I am in the same situation right now.. but am the Lebanese girl who is marrying an indian guy.. but.. racism from my parents's side is killing me.. i thought of reporting this case here but i dont know where to start and how to pour my words on here.

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  3. Brother i can understand your feeling,never try love someone who cannot understand ur feelings i want to advice u that as a indian the arrange marriage has a better result coz u parents select the type of girl who can understand u and would love to take care of u parents in love marriage we never look down to the girls character and her affection towards our parents i tell u that indian culture of arrange marriage is the best thing in ur life coz ur parents have much expereince of selecting a girl which suits you .

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  4. My dear naive friend there is racism everywhere,who can understand better than you as being an Indian.India has institutionalized racism as a way of life-untouchables,religion,women,colour etc.So please don't give a foolish sob story be a man and carry your life bravely and please do not again convert to some religion,because if someone really loves you than religion is immaterial.

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